Wedding Do/Do Over Series: Be Flexible
Do: Ask for What You Really Want (But Know You May Have to be Flexible)
Your wedding day is YOUR day... well your and your partner's day... but it's important to remember that this day is about (both of) you, so ask for what you really want. Worst case scenario: you don't get it and have to come up with a Plan B. Best case scenario: you get what you want! You should of course be reasonable with your requests, especially in terms of your budget, but if you've been planning your dream wedding via Pinterest for the past few years, now is the time to filter through your favorite ideas. This includes not only your wedding, but also your bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc.
Alice in Wonderland has been my favorite book since I was 14. I can't remember when the idea first came to me, but long before I was ever engaged, I dreamed of having a Mad Tea Party theme for my bridal shower. After I got engaged, my mom's sweet friend Angelique offered to host my bridal shower at her house. Her beautiful backyard was the perfect venue for the Mad Tea Party theme and (even a year later) I am still blown away by the beautiful shower Angelique, my Mom, and my MOH Barbara put together.
I didn't need to be flexible when it came to my bridal shower, because it was beyond perfect, but that wasn't the case for everything leading up to my wedding.
Disneyland is my favorite place to go in the USA (probably because I haven't been to NYC yet), so I had also hoped - even before I got engaged - to have my bachelorette party there. I was nervous to ask my friends/bridesmaids to attend a bachelorette party at Disneyland though, knowing it would be more expensive than if we just stayed in town. I mentioned this idea early on to my bridesmaids and they were all on board. My MOH had the most adorable invitations made and my friends were all excited to go. However, about a month before the date on the invitations, we had to look at rescheduling my bachelorette party for a few different reasons. It came down to two sets of dates and no matter which dates I picked some of my friends who were planning to come would not be able to attend. It was a difficult decision, but I ultimately chose the dates that worked best for the majority of my friends who wanted to go. Because she is awesome, my MOH also planned a local bachelorette party the same weekend so my friends who couldn't go to Disneyland could still participate in the bachelorette festivities. I had the most amazing time at both bachelorette events and still got to celebrate with all of my friends.
While there were many other situations - big and small - that required flexibility when planning my wedding, there is one more that stands out in my mind: the bridal party entrance dance.
This was a big ask because not everyone in my bridal party had a dance background. My husband, Steve, and I got engaged during a dance recital and I am a choreographer, so I thought having the bridal party do a big dance number to kick off our reception was a great idea. Not everyone was as enthusiastic as I was, but most of them agreed to participate anyway. There was, however, one groomsman who refused. I will never forget the day Steve called to tell me that this groomsman was not going to do the bridal party entrance dance because it was the only yelling bridezilla moment during my whole wedding planning process. I was so frustrated because we were only a couple weeks out from the wedding and I didn't know how we could do the dance with one of my bridesmaids not having a partner since it was a swing number. Once I calmed down and thought with a clear head, I realized that we could ask our mutual friend Travis to take the other groomsman's place. Travis is a great friend and a great dancer, so he was the perfect choice. Fortunately Travis agreed and the problem was solved. You can see how the bridal party entrance dance turned out (as well as our first dance) here.
Do Over: Have Flexibility In Your Reception Timeline
Your day of timeline is one of the most important parts of wedding planning. There are many parts that make up a wedding day, and your day of timeline is the guide to keep everything running smoothly. There are a lot of tasks/smaller events that need to be worked into your day of timeline. This includes everything from what time the bride's hair will be done to what time the bouquet will be tossed. Even though my friend Steffani and I planned out my day of timeline well, I wish I had scheduled more flexibility into my reception part of the timeline.
Our reception did get a little off schedule when our buffet line didn't go as planned. I also didn't schedule enough time to go around and greet all of our guests (even with the buffet line running behind, we only made it to about 2/3s of our tables before dinner was ending). As a result, all of our post dinner events (bouquet toss, garter toss, first dance, etc.) ran behind and we spent part of our "dance and hang out with guests" time greeting people at their tables. Steve and I enjoy getting down on the dance floor, but because I didn't schedule much flexibility into our reception timeline, our window to dance and enjoy grew smaller and smaller. We did get some time, but it didn't feel like enough.
Before we knew it, it was time for our sparkler exit. I couldn't believe the day was coming to an end. After our exit was over, I asked Steve if we could stay a little longer. We still had our venue for another hour and I just wanted to get a few more moments in before it all ended. We were able to spend a little more time with friends, family, and each other, but there was an underlying sense of rush as the decorations came down and everyone started to leave.
In hindsight, I wish I had pushed our reception end time back at least half an hour (especially since we had the venue anyway). I had scheduled in an hour between our last reception event (cake cutting) and our exit, which seemed like plenty of time on paper, but in reality we had less than an hour because of the earlier delays. Having at least a half an hour buffer would have made a big difference. After talking to other brides about this same topic, the consensus is that no matter how long your wedding day lasts, it always goes by too fast. Schedule in as much free and flexible time as you want, and enjoy every moment!
Photo credits:
Bridal Shower - Heart Shaped Lens Photography
Wedding Photos - NVS Photography
Bachelorette Party Photos - Kimi & Friends