How to Choose the Right Wedding Coordinator
As a bride-to-be, you may feel overwhelmed with the number of people you have to hire for your wedding. While some of them are mandatory (an officiant) and some of them are optional (a DJ), one person I highly recommend hiring is a qualified wedding coordinator. This could be someone who works professionally in the event industry or someone you know who is detailed-oriented and trustworthy. You could have someone who is just a day-of coordinator or someone who helps throughout the whole wedding planning process. Either way, having someone to make sure your wedding runs smoothly will save you from a lot of stress on your big day.
Depending on where your ceremony and reception are held, your venue(s) may provide a coordinator. This coordinator will be more of a liaison between you and the venue, rather than someone who will execute all of the details for your ceremony and reception. Venue coordinators will go over what your rental includes, add-on packages, expectations for using the facility, etc., but they are not responsible for helping you put the finishing touches on the space you are renting (unless that is part of your contract). For example, your venue coordinator may make sure you have the correct number of tables and chairs in the venue, but you may be required to set everything up in your preferred layout and tear it back down at the end of your reception. Some venues may set up everything included in your rental, but you’ll need someone to decorate and put out your wedding favors and place cards. Other venues may completely set up and decorate the space to your specific requests, but you will still need someone to make sure the events within the wedding timeline stay on schedule (e.g. the cocktail hour, bridal party entrance, speeches, bouquet toss, and grand exit). There is so much to do on the day of your wedding! You will be a much happier bride if you hand the reins over to someone else, which is exactly why you should at least have a day-of coordinator, if not a full wedding coordinator.
Pictured L to R: Me, Jan (Steffi’s Mom), and Steffi on Jan’s wedding day, April 13th, 2013
Fun Fact: Steve (my now husband, but boyfriend at the time) was my assistant for this wedding. He is the only reason I was able to get the string of lights wrapped in tulle hung in the reception area because the winds were extremely high that day.
One of my close friends from junior high and high school, Steffi, was my day-of coordinator when I got married in 2016. Three years before my wedding, I was the day-of coordinator for Steffi’s mom’s wedding, which was the first wedding I ever coordinated. After working with Steffi on her mom’s wedding, I felt confident that she was the person I trusted most to manage my special day. Steffi and I did a practice set up of everything I was providing for my reception (such as centerpieces, candy buffet, and decor) about 10 days before my wedding. On my actual wedding day, she brought everything to the venue, and - with help from some of my family and friends - transformed the space to match what I had envisioned. She kept the reception on schedule, and other than a setback with the buffet (which was related to how our caterer set up the food), everything went according to plan. It was a relief knowing that all of my day-of wedding tasks were being managed without me needing to be present, and that made it easier to just enjoy being the bride. Plus, I loved that my day-of coordinator was also a long-time friend.
While Steffi was my day-of coordinator for the reception, the church where my husband and I were married required us to use their day-of coordinator for our ceremony. Let’s call her “Dee.” Dee and I met once prior to my wedding weekend, and she seemed very scattered from the beginning. I am sure she had the best intentions, but working with her was very frustrating for me. During our first meeting, she made some negative comments about the priest who was marrying me and my husband (I would consider this priest to also be a family friend, so this was strike one). At our church rehearsal, she argued with me about the order in which my bridal party should be lined up in the back of the church in order to end up in the correct places on the altar. After having all of us walk down the aisle to the altar, she realized that the bridesmaids and groomsmen were in the wrong places, and we had to do it all over again. We spent so much time organizing the bridal party and walking up/down the aisle twice, that we rushed through the rest of our rehearsal, which left me feeling somewhat unprepared for the actual ceremony (strike two). Before we left the rehearsal, I made sure to give Dee a printed copy of our deceased family members’ names for the Prayers of the Faithful, however, it was nowhere to be found on our wedding day, so the names were not read during that part of our ceremony (strike three). While the ceremony wasn’t a disaster, it definitely could have been less stressful with a different coordinator.
Exactly 5 years to the day from coordinating Steffi’s mom’s wedding, I found myself coordinating another big day, This time it was for one of my closest friends, Rachel. While I consider Rachel to be one of my besties (she was one of my bridesmaids and someone I’ve also been friends with since junior high and high school), I was honestly way more excited to be her day-of coordinator than I would have been to be a bridesmaid. I had previously been a Maid of Honor for another friend, so I was certain that “directing the show” would be a better fit for me than trying not to trip while walking down the aisle linked to a groomsman with whom I am barely acquainted. I also knew from my own wedding that having a strong day-of coordinator makes a huge difference in both your ceremony and reception, and I wanted to be that person for my dear friend.
Since I had personally experienced what it was like to have a fantastic day-of coordinator (Steffi) as well as a less-than-optimal day-of coordinator (Dee), I knew exactly who to emulate when coordinating Rachel’s wedding. Rachel and I discussed every aspect of her wedding in detail over multiple meetings, phone calls, texts, and emails. When she wanted a way to spruce up the chairs from her venue, I helped her make burlap bows. I accompanied her to meet with her venue coordinators, so that I could take notes on their policies/restrictions and ask logistical questions. I strived to make sure that she felt comfortable turning every responsibility over to me, knowing it would be completed exactly the way she wanted it to be. Overall, Rachel’s wedding went off without a hitch… except for her getting hitched to Paul (the only preferable hitch).
The price of a wedding coordinator varies greatly depending on where you live, how big your wedding is, what your service needs are (just the day-of your wedding or more involved in the planning process) and whether you are using a professional or amateur coordinator. If you’re on a tight budget, considering asking someone you know who would be a good fit for the role and might be willing to perform it at a lower cost (or for free) as her wedding gift to you. Even if you are required to pay for a coordinator at your church or other venue(s), I would still recommend having at least a day-of coordinator who is going to execute your plan and handle any problems that arise. A wedding is the most expensive event you will ever throw, so you might as well embrace being the guest of honor and let someone else manage the hostess duties.
In order to choose the right coordinator for your wedding, here are some characteristics and tips to keep in mind:
Select someone with strong communication skills
Hire someone who responds to your emails, texts, and phone calls within 1-2 days, unless you are contacting her outside of her working hours (which she should specify in advance).
Her correspondence should show that she is attentive to detail. If she asks thoughtful, clarifying questions about your expectations, that is a good sign. If she asks you multiple times for information that you have already provided, you may want to consider hiring someone else.
Choose someone you can trust
If you don’t trust her, there is no point in hiring her. Seriously. You cannot micromanage your wedding and simultaneously enjoy it. You need to be able to let go and let your day-of coordinator run the show.
Listen to your gut when you meet her, if it’s someone new. If you’re not comfortable after that initial interaction, keep looking.
If you are considering someone you already know, think about your past experience with that person. If you have any doubts, she may not be a good fit to coordinate your big day.
Regardless of who you pick to be your coordinator, she should make you feel comfortable as she helps you plan out your ideas, without trying to change your overall vision or theme.
Ask for proof of qualification
A qualified coordinator should be able to provide a related educational background, a resume of relevant experience, and/or references from past clients or employers. If she cannot provide at least one of these things, that could be a red flag.
If you’re choosing to have someone you know step into this role, ask about her past experience with managing a project or team. A leader in any capacity will have a lot of the basic qualities needed to manage day-of wedding duties.
Start looking for your coordinator early in your wedding planning process
The earlier you find your coordinator, the sooner you can start working together to plan out the details of your wedding day.
If the first person you interview is not the right person, then you still have plenty of time to find someone else. There will be less pressure to stick with a coordinator who is not the best fit for you, if you have time to transition the work to someone else.
Stay within your budget
Make sure you set an amount in your budget for a wedding coordinator. If you want to hire a more expensive coordinator, find another line in your budget where you can reduce your costs (check back soon for a separate post about budgeting for your wedding).
If your budget is really tight, ask your friend or cousin who is detail-oriented, responsible, and maybe a little bossy (I mean no offense by this, because I am totally that person). She will probably love the opportunity to do this as a favor to you!
I hope these tips help with your decision to hire a wedding coordinator. Feel free to comment on this post or send an email with any additional questions about day-of coordinators or overall wedding coordinators.
While my main gig as a municipal event planner puts limitations on my availability, I still have some flexibility to work as a wedding coordinator on my weekends off, so feel to contact me if you are interested in coordinator services.